Kay:

Hey there, gang! Welcome back for another episode of The Mentorship Quest! This is Episode 149 and it is July 30th….which is also the International Day of Friendship! And, not only are Shila and I sisters, but we’re also best friends! So, from a couple of best friends, we want to say Happy International Day of Friendship! We’ve got a great quote for you today from the author of Chronicles of Narnia, C.S. Lewis…

Shi:

…who says, “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”

Kay:

Aww, I kinda feel like humanity and togetherness is born at that moment!

Shi:

Right? With a sense of kinship, and connectedness, and common ground. So many of us walk around with problems in our heads, or feelings that we think we’re the only one, or that things are really only unique to us in our experience. And, when you find someone not just to commiserate with, but to connect with, and find shared understanding, and common ground and experience together, that’s one of the things that can connect you the fastest, and keep you connected the longest!

Kay:

Now, this might shock you, but Shila and I haven’t always been best friends…

Shi:

Seven years is a long time between siblings!

Kay:

Yeah! So, you can imagine what our household looked like when I was 9 and Shi was 16, and it was just tough to relate. You know, there’s not a lot that a 16 year old cheerleader can relate to a 9 year old, karate going, brat doll playing, kind of a girl. And so, it wasn’t really until Shila and I got older and started to have these moments of like, “Wait, what? You too? I thought I was the only one…in our family – in our dynamic – and in our own mind!” And so, it was really cool to see our friendship blossom from that place.

Shi:

I really appreciated our friendship blossoming from that place, and love the friendship that we’ve cultivated, and getting to have a bestie now and forevermore! And, you know, sometimes I think we’re on that mental level together too. Sometimes, we’ll be laying in bed at night and just start cracking up at our phones at 10 o’clock at night, and our husbands just roll their eyes because they already know it’s just us doing our sister inside jokes – that (even if we tried to explain) – we wouldn’t be able to…but, that’s what true friendship is all about!

Kay:

Exactly. It’s finding someone that you can connect with on things that might feel super personal to you. And so, some of the things that Shila and I didn’t realize was that we both were, at the time, big TV buffs. Granted, this was a long time ago, but I can distinctly remember the moment when Shila was like, “Wait, do you like drama TV shows? Let me go ahead and suggest to you about five of them, and then we can talk about it!” And, I remember the kind of connection that we got over that first show (Dexter!), and then how we have had so many cool connections since then, and continue to find more as our friendship develops.

Shi:

And, that’s exactly the advice that C.S. Lewis can give us here, which is to connect with others on those common ground experiences. Because, when you say to someone, “What? You too?…I thought I was the only one!” – that generally means that it might be something vulnerable, and it might be something that’s hard to admit, or a struggle, or a challenge. And, those things are things that we often don’t want to talk about or don’t want to bring up. And so, we can appear cold, or we can be hard to read, or hard for others to connect with, or want to form a relationship with. But, when we open ourselves up to the things that we like, the things that we don’t like, and our boundaries that we set – then we allow others to have something to grab on to and can say, “Oh, you do too? Thank God! I thought I was the only one!”

Kay:

Well, I think it’s a little bit scary sometimes to open up and to go out to make friends. And, I think that the Chronicles of Narnia really underlines that. C.S. Lewis writes on these three kids in peril, and they go into a whole brand new world, but then that new world is also in peril! And so, they’re like, “Wait…you guys too?!” And they get motivated to help, and end up making a kingdom and helping people, and overcoming a lot of odds, and finding friendship, and a whole new people! And so, that level of vulnerability and exploration with another party can really take you to new heights and hopefully help you find some new friends. So, just a reminder on this quote from C.S. Lewis – he says, “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”

Shi:

All right! That brings us to your quest, which is a vulnerability quest for you, on this Thursday! What’s one thing that you could share, or one way you could be vulnerable in order to make a connection towards building a new friendship today? Give someone the gift of knowing they’re not alone by getting a little vulnerable and sharing something personal about yourself that might give someone else a chance to say, “What? You too? I thought I was the only one!” So, Are you ready?

Kay:

Let’s quest!