• Kay & Shi

The Daily Scroll: A Mentorship Recap - December 17th, 2020 Show Notes

Kay:

Hey there Questers and welcome back. It's Thursday, December 17th and this is episode 249. We have a Vera Wang quote for you today, and she says, “The key is falling in love with something, anything. If your heart's attached to it, then your mind will be attached to it.”

Shi:

Vera Wang, of course, the American fashion designer based out of New York city, and senior fashion editor at Vogue for 15 years. Probably most famous for her wedding dresses, but we just have to take a quick stop and say, thank you to Kohl's for helping us to fall in love with Vera Wang. They have a Vera Wang line there, everything from purses to pants and all kinds of things in between, but she's a pretty incredible inspiration and entrepreneur, and definitely rings true from our experience with this quote here.


Kay:

Yes. Well, the very first sentence in this quote is, “the key is falling in love with something, anything.” Now, before we get too far into this, I want to just caution on this “falling in love” piece, and right before we hit the record button, Shi was like, “save it for the podcast.” Because I wanted to share with you guys that there are five main chemicals that actually come into play when you come into attraction, lust, and love when you're “falling in love with a person." Now, many of these chemicals are also at play when you're falling in love with an idea or falling in love with that business idea, or an idea for your life. So, these chemicals are testosterone and estrogen. Obviously, you're going to find those in place when you've got the people involved, but the big three are dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin. So, many of us get the idea for something, we fall completely in love with the idea we get down the actual path of execution and it might not be exactly what we thought it was going to be...


Shi:

Right. Let's just talk about that biological incident here for a second. You're getting a wash in chemicals that make you feel absolutely incredible. Your high. When you're falling in love, your body is naturally…


Kay:

You are just high.


Shi:

SO high! And so when it's with a person and they're the thing that's in front of you that's helping you create this chemical reaction in your body. So, of course, you associate that chemical reaction positively with that person. What makes a relationship last of course is a lot more than just that I'm hooked on the chemicals that you get in the first six months and that's where this second part really comes in. You've got to have your heart attached to it so that you can put your mind to work on figuring out how to get addicted all over again all the time.


Kay:

Now, one of the traps that some of us can fall into, when we're looking for things to fall in love with, we can also direct our heart in the direction of our dreams in that we start kind of getting that shiny object syndrome. Like, “I like this, and I like this and I'm seeing that maybe this is the thing that I want to go and try.” You guys, Shila and I have thrown so much spaghetti at the wall that has not stuck. Let's talk about our restaurant coaching program.


Shi:

It did not stick.


Kay:

It did not stick. We've had a few eBooks that have launched. We've done some programs, we've done all kinds of stuff that hasn't worked, and we have done stuff that has worked as well. So, when we stopped falling in love with ideas, and we started falling in love with maybe some deeper meanings, like falling in love with the emotions that we like to feel on a regular basis, we found that our quality of life got way better.


Shi:

Right. It was having that inner lens and that definition being something that was more purpose and fulfillment aligned rather than externally aligned because, as Kay mentioned, that shiny object syndrome happens because you get a chemical release from being inspired at a conference or getting fired up and motivated about a well-edited piece of material that makes you feel in the moment, all of those emotions and chemical releases. Of course, your body says, go find more of that and associate whatever is giving it to you right now with getting more of that. So, you can start to get distracted by those objects. Vera is also advocating not only that you get your heart attached to it and make your mind follow so that you can put the mental faculties to use and actually use them to build the thing that you're dreaming about, but to find something that really does light you afire, aside from the chemical reactions in your body. And for us, it's really been shifting to that purpose fulfillment piece and asking ourselves: what are those emotions? NOT what are those outcomes or results? That's helped us stay energized through some of the tougher times.


Kay:

So as a reminder, Miss Vera Wang says, "The key is falling in love with something, anything. If your hearts attach to it, then your mind will be attached to it."


Shi:

And that means it's questing time and today is a #ThoughtfulThursday quest! We want you to attach your heart to something that you have to do today and see what a difference it makes when you can fall in love in that mental space. Are you ready?


Kay and Shi:

Let's quest!